The people you surround yourself with can fuel or extinguish your fire. Debra Trappen shares strategies for building up and letting go.
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Welcome to Lead with Fire, A Soulful Series for Real Estate Game-Changers. This is more than business advice — “Lead with Fire” is a transformative series created for the soulful, visionary humans in the real estate industry who are done with the old playbook and ready to redefine success on their own terms.
There’s a difference between a group chat and a sacred circle. Between people who “get” you and people who see you. Between acquaintances and soul allies.
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Within the Red Threads Collective, we frequently discuss the importance of the people you surround yourself with because no matter how powerful your strategy or polished your brand, if you’re surrounded by individuals who drain your energy or don’t support your vision, your passion will dim. Slowly. Quietly. Until one day you wonder why everything feels so heavy.
This is your permission slip to reassess who gets a seat at your table.
The role of community in real growth
Real growth isn’t always glamorous. It’s vulnerable. It’s messy. It’s filled with moments that require courage, clarity and a sense of community.
Whether you’re launching a new vision, refining your niche, grieving a former identity or stepping into a next-level version of yourself, you need people who can hold space for your becoming, without judgment, projection or comparison.
You deserve a circle that witnesses your evolution and celebrates it.
Who belongs in your wise council?
Your wise council might include friends, mentors, clients, spiritual guides or even unexpected connections who spark something in you. You’ll know them by how they make you feel:
- Safe to be messy and magnificent
- Seen without having to overexplain
- Celebrated, not just tolerated
- Called forward with loving honesty
These are the ones who fan your flames, not your fears.
And sometimes, to make space for this level of connection, you must lovingly release the relationships that no longer serve your soul’s direction. (I know this sounds like a lot. Remember, we can do hard things.)
When you let go, you make room
Letting go doesn’t mean there wasn’t a connection. It means you are no longer available for relationships built on guilt, obligation or outdated versions of you.
As you rise, your relationships will shift. That’s not a failure; that’s growth.
Choose to surround yourself with people who are doing their healing, holding their vision and walking beside you, not above or behind you.
Reflective journal prompts
- Who are the 3 people in my life who uplift and inspire me — and how can I deepen those connections? Send the text. Schedule the coffee. Open your heart.
- Where am I still seeking connection out of habit rather than alignment? What does that cost me energetically?
- What does a sacred circle look and feel like for me? Visualize the energy. The laughter. The nourishment.
- How can I be a better member of someone else’s wise council? Support goes both ways. Shine your light back.
Mantra to Lead With Fire
“I am held by a circle that sees me, supports me and celebrates my becoming.”
Next up in the Lead with Fire series — Ditch the sensless hustle: How to create a business and life you love
Are you designing your business and life from the inside out or simply following the map someone else handed you? Next, we’ll dive into creating a business and life you actually love, rooted in harmony, not hustle.
