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My friends, it has been a while since last I wrote to you. Much has changed in the world of dad jokes, yet joyfully things remain largely the same.
Except in my home.
You see, it’s 2025, and my only child moved out this year. It’s honestly a strange sensation because I have been a mostly solo dad for 23 straight years to my son, who has lived with me the whole time. Times change.
When he moved out, an odd melancholy anticipation came over me—melancholy for his absence, but anticipation because I’m excited for his life and my life as it will take shape in that same absence.
And so what do I do with myself now? That’s the question, right? No.
The real question is: “Who do I tell all my dad jokes to now?”
Do I tell my wife? No. Here’s what happens when I do that: Yesterday, she told me her brother is planning a mountain backpacking trip and was going to take some altitude sickness pills. So I said, “Oh man, I hear that medication gets you really high.”
She just looked at me deadpan and said, “Dad jokes.” This is a no-go.
Do I tell the dogs? They never laugh. Door-to-door salespeople? Might make them finally think twice about unsolicited soliciting. Strangers at the store? They tend to look at me weird.
Shall I then shout these zingers at the walls — the cold, grey, echoey walls of my home — hoping in futility to hear just a single creak of the settling house that I could pretend was the tiniest groan in response …?
Who — I ask you — who will be the pun-fortunate recipient of my burgeoning stockpile of unfunny humor?
Hello, Inman Readers. Here is your list of the 15 lamest dad jokes of 2025:
1. Two sheep walk into a — baaaa.
2. What do real estate agents have to be thankful for? Lots. (Get it??)
3. My teacher asked me to name two structures that contain water … I was like, “Well, dam!”
4. Why was the real estate agent in counseling? He just couldn’t get closure.
5. Don’t ever fish with a DJ. They’re always dropping the bass.
6. Siri kept calling me “Shirley” all day yesterday and I was getting very annoyed. But I finally realized I had left my phone in Airplane! mode.
7. Did you hear about the last remaining unit in the apartment building? It was last but not leased.
8. I should start doing lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
9. What does a house wear? Address.
10. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a pop can? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
11. What do you call a pirate who designs houses? An ARRRchitect!
12. I just landed a position at a company that makes foam rubber. So far, it seems like a pretty cushy job.
13. Do you want to hear a joke about a roof? It’s on the house.
14. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet, and I don’t know Y.
15. Q: How many real estate agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! The lightbulb is in excellent working order and composed of a beautiful retro teardrop illuminator, offering original glass and metal features and located very centrally in the middle of the room. Local amenities abound, and the property is serviced by a newly refurbished power cord connecting it to the ceiling. Nearby is a tasteful power switch to enable the purchaser to switch it on and off. Leasehold with a share of power supply, lovingly improved wattage by the current owners. Would suit a professional couple or family looking for more light.
Sources courtesy InboundREM, The Pioneer Woman, Delish and Reddit.
Connect with Devon Broderick on LinkedIn.
