When you say yes to something misaligned, you’re saying no to your deeper purpose, Debra Trappen writes. Discover the power of saying no and claiming your value.
Real estate is changing fast, and so must you. Inman Connect San Diego is where you turn uncertainty into strategy — with real talk, real tools, and the connections that matter. If you’re serious about staying ahead of the game, this is where you need to be. Register now!
Welcome to Lead with Fire, A Soulful Series for Real Estate Game-Changers. This is more than business advice — “Lead with Fire” is a transformative series created for the soulful, visionary humans in the real estate industry who are done with the old playbook and ready to redefine success on their own terms.
There’s a sacred power in the word no, especially when you’ve spent a lifetime saying yes to keep the peace, prove your value or avoid disappointing others. But here’s the truth: Every time you say yes to something misaligned, you’re saying no to your deeper purpose.
And that misalignment? It adds up.
I’ve seen this play out with people in all stages of business and leadership. Smart, soulful humans who have poured their hearts into their work … only to realize they’re still undercharging, overdelivering or overcompensating.
Why? Because somewhere along the way, they learned their worth had to be earned or proven. Take a listen to this Thread Talk I had with Rebekah Radice, where we deep dive into the mindset, societal conditioning and personal transformation needed to elevate our pricing and embrace the wealth we deserve.
Let’s rewrite that story.
You are not for everyone — and that’s a good thing
The moment you start owning your value, with your time, energy, pricing and presence, not everyone will understand. That’s OK. The people who are meant for you will rise to meet you. And the ones who don’t? Bless and release.
You are not required to make yourself more palatable to be worthy.
This isn’t about arrogance or entitlement. It’s about energetic integrity. It’s about trusting that when you stop watering down your worth, you become magnetic to the people and opportunities aligned with your vision.
From external validation to internal anchoring
Owning your worth means detaching from applause, likes or approval and anchoring into something deeper. It’s about asking: What do I believe I’m worth — even if no one is clapping?
This shows up in:
- How you negotiate your fees or salary
- How you respond to feedback
- How you hold your boundaries
- How you show up for yourself, even when no one else is watching
Your worth is not up for negotiation
You don’t need to explain why you charge what you charge.
You don’t need to justify a new direction.
You don’t need to shrink to keep someone else comfortable.
You get to evolve. You get to raise your standards. You get to make empowered decisions that protect your peace and fuel your purpose.
Because here’s the truth: You are the asset. Your energy, experience, intuition and insight are not extras. They are your edge.
Reflective journal prompts:
- Where in my life or business am I settling for less than I’m worth? What would shift if I raised the bar?
- What beliefs about money, success or validation no longer serve me? Whose voice am I still trying to please or prove myself to?
- What boundary or decision have I been avoiding, and what would it look like to lovingly claim it? Even if it’s uncomfortable, is it aligned?
- What does it feel like in my body when I am fully rooted in my worth? How can I practice that energy today?
- What are 5 things that make me valuable beyond money? Your worth is deeper than the numbers. Name it. Feel it. Own it.
Mantra to Lead With Fire:
“My worth is not up for negotiation. I say no with love and stand tall in my value.”
Next up in the Lead with Fire series: How to build a soul-aligned support circle that elevates your vision
What if your growth wasn’t meant to be a solo journey? In our next post, we’ll explore the power of sacred circles and how to cultivate a community that cheers for you and champions your evolution.
Debra Trappen is the founder of the Red Threads Collective, a sacred community for women entrepreneurs. Connect with her on Instagram and LinkedIn.
