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One of the things I most admire about the real estate industry is how many hard-working dads are not only coaching their real estate teams to success, but then they roll out of the parking lot and head to the ballfield to help out their kids and the kids in their community as well.
The spirit of community is alive and well in the real estate industry. This Father’s Day, let’s celebrate and recognize the Dads doing the most and appreciate the laughter and love they bring to their offices, homes, and communities.
What Dads really want this year
Here are three things that Dads really want this Father’s Day weekend.
1. They want room to step away from stereotypes without the fear of social criticism
I cannot tell you how many men I have spoken to recently who feel like being a man, a father, a business professional, a son and a friend is extremely challenging right now. They think that no matter what path they choose, they feel like someone is ready to argue with them and tell them they are wrong.
They feel conflicted and frustrated that, even if they exhibit good behaviors and habits, it’s overshadowed by the bad that lesser men inflict on society every day.
Don’t just praise men for doing the bare minimum; praise them when they are doing the hard work of managing their emotions without anger, managing the office with attention to detail and consideration for others, and above all, give them space to be soft and kind without derogatory comments.
Masculinity is under the microscope, and it’s been turned into a political weapon that does not favor men or women. It fosters power, oppression and closed-mindedness.
Men are encouraged and praised for choosing violent hobbies and interests, but not commended for sharing equal labor in the home and when raising children. Men are often praised for titles, financial gains and awards, but they are not often commended for compassion, kindness and adopting non-violent practices as part of child rearing and interacting with society.
Men deserve to eliminate the phrase: “Just wait until your father gets home,” and replace it with the phrase “Your Dad will want to talk to you and spend time with you when you get home because your relationship is important to him.”
2. Dads deserve a chance to break away from ‘tradition’ and build new legacies
There was a powerful scene in one of my favorite new shows, The Last of Us, where a young Joel sits with his father at the kitchen table and has a beer with him as they discuss a serious family issue. The father, in a rare show of emotional openness, explains that despite his parental failings, he knows he is doing better for his sons than his father did for him.
Look, friends, therapy is cool, and I think everyone should try it at least once because we all carry issues that need to be resolved. Having a space to talk about these issues should not be seen as weakness. Men shouldn’t be seen as a “lesser man” because they admit they need help or that they went through some trauma. It’s about taking action so you don’t pass it on to your wife, kids, friends or coworkers.
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. Dads need support. We all need support. Life is incredibly challenging, and we shouldn’t be afraid to discuss it. Currently, men outnumber women in suicide rates, and the risk increases if they have had personal trauma or are veterans.
Break away from traditional expectations of what you think a father should be, and become the Dad you want to be. Dads need room to do it their way and build a better future, instead of just masking their problems.
3. Dads need to think about fitness and health, without having pressure to become a bodybuilder
Trying to make time for the gym is rough, and as a woman, going into the gym can sometimes be very intimidating. However, I actually feel worse for the men in there, putting on some strange caveman show for each other. Who has the biggest arms, can press the most weight, can run the fastest, can jump around and yell the loudest?
It doesn’t make for a calm and peaceful experience, and if you are mentally worn out or overweight, it’s hard to immediately jump into that mindset and not feel like it’s a punishment. I’m all for encouraging fitness, providing help and maintaining accountability with friends, but most of the time, what I see is men pushing themselves too far for the sake of showing off to random people around them.
Dads need to know that they can be healthy without being “sexy,” it’s OK to have a “dad bod,” and they can go to the gym and play sports without blowing out knees, shoulders and whatever else joints they haphazardly ruin while trying to keep up with the show.
Dads, please go on a family walk, and eat something healthy once in a while, so you don’t develop heart issues, diabetes and mobility issues. Dads need to be OK with self-care, so they can be here longer for us and be stronger for us in the long run.
Grateful for Dad jokes
I’m so grateful for the great dads I know, especially those who excel at telling terrible dad jokes and giving hugs. A dad who knows how to bring laughter into sad situations, who gives good hugs, who can be a best friend when you need to work on a serious project and who is the best listener when you need help.
Those are the Dads we need more of in today’s challenging world. Dads need room to show love and to be soft as well as firm. Happy Father’s Day to all the special men and Dads in the real estate industry who are raising the bar and making a difference.
Cheers to those who support them, and may we raise a new generation of Dads who are part of the solution as they bring more compassion and kindness into this world.
Rachael Hite is a seasoned housing counselor and thought leader in the real estate industry. Connect with her on Instagram and LinkedIn.
