Wants vs. commitment: How to know if your buyers are really ready

Since the NAR commission suit settlement, buyer agents have faced new rules, new documents and a new normal. This month, Inman drills down on Today’s Buyers Agent with the fresh marketing strategies, skills and tools buyer agents are using to prosper in changing times.

Let me ask you a question: Have you ever worked with a buyer who seemed all in — until it was actually time to move forward?

They toured homes, raved about floor plans, nodded along during conversations and maybe even started picking out paint colors in their head. But when it came time to sign? Radio silence. Cold feet. Crickets.

If that’s ever happened to you (and let’s be honest, it has), you’re not alone. One of the biggest frustrations agents share with me is wasting time with buyers who aren’t really ready — and who might not even know it themselves.

So, how do you tell the difference between a buyer who’s truly serious and one who’s just window shopping?

It comes down to this: It’s not about what they want. It’s about what they’re committed to.

Wanting vs. committing: There’s a big difference

Let me give you an example. I want a Rolls-Royce. Beautiful car. Smooth ride. I would love to be seen in one. But I don’t own a Rolls-Royce. Why? Because I’m not committed to the price tag, the maintenance or the reality of owning one. Wanting something and being willing to do what it takes to get it? Two very different things.

Your buyers might want a three-bedroom in a great school district with quartz countertops and a big backyard. Great. But unless they’re committed to navigating the process — financing, inspections, negotiations, paperwork — they’re going to stall.

If you want the truth, ask the right questions

To get past the surface and into their real motivations, don’t just ask, “What are you looking for?”

Instead, go deeper:

• “Why are you buying a home now?”
• “What happens if you don’t move?”
• “How would this new home impact your life in the next five years?”
• “What are you hoping this move will do for you or your family?”

You’re not just collecting data — you’re helping them connect to their why. Because people don’t buy homes based on square footage alone. They buy because of what that square footage represents.

For investors, dig deeper too:

• “What’s your long-term financial plan?”
• “How does this property fit into your portfolio?”
• “If you don’t move forward, what opportunity are you leaving on the table?”

You’re not selling them on the deal — you’re helping them remember their destination.

Buying a home isn’t just a transaction — it’s a vision

Here’s the truth: A house isn’t just a structure. It’s the setting for someone’s next chapter.

That kitchen? It’s where Sunday pancakes and Thanksgiving dinners happen. That backyard? It’s where the dog plays and the kids grow up. That quiet cul-de-sac? It’s peace of mind after a long day.

People don’t buy properties. They buy possibilities.

When a buyer hesitates, help them zoom out. Remind them of the bigger picture. One of the things I coach agents to say when someone’s stuck is:

“I know this decision feels big — and it is. But you’re not just buying walls and windows. You’re buying future memories, future milestones and the life you’ve been dreaming about.”

That shift — from fear to future — can break through paralysis.

Commitment calms fear

When buyers are anchored in their purpose, the fear has less room to grow.

Let’s say an investor is hesitating on a purchase. The numbers work, the property fits their strategy — but they’re stalling.

Ask:

“If this property appreciates 10 percent over the next decade, how much potential equity are you walking away from? Are you OK with that?”

Because at the end of the day, most hesitation isn’t about the home — it’s about uncertainty. When you bring them back to what they’re committed to, you help them replace uncertainty with clarity.

Your role: Less tour guide, more coach

You’re not just showing homes. You’re helping people make one of the biggest decisions of their lives. So don’t be afraid to ask bold questions. To challenge them when they’re stuck. To gently steer them back when fear or doubt creeps in.

Buyers don’t need someone to unlock doors. They need someone who can unlock their commitment to the life they’re trying to build.

The next time a buyer starts hesitating, don’t just tell them how great the property is. Dig deeper. Find their why. Speak to the vision that brought them to you in the first place. Remind them: They’re not just buying a home — they’re stepping into the next level of their life.

And if you’re feeling stuck working with buyers who can’t commit, don’t take it personally. Don’t lose heart. The most powerful agents are the ones who learn to lead with questions, coach with clarity and serve with strength.

You’ve got the tools. You’ve got the heart. You’re in the right profession — and if you’re reading this here on Inman, you’re in the right place.

Keep going. Keep serving. And remember: your job isn’t just to help buyers find a house. It’s to help them find the courage to move forward.